Just Nonsense

It's Friday bitches! You know what that means... it’s Just Nonsense time!

I'm usually not home by myself often. It's a rare occurrence like me turning down a beer. Doesn't happen often but when it does it causes a ripple in time. It's an occurrence people who live by themselves take for granted. In honor of being all by myseeeelllff (sing that. go ahead.) I did what any normal person would do, did everything I possibly could not wearing any pants. I washed dishes. Checked my email. Watched tv. Brushed my pony. Made pancakes. That's a lie. I can't make pancakes. It was really quite wonderful. If I could wear no pants all the time I would be the happiest girl alive. Actually if I could wear no underware all the time and not have my lady bits in a tizzy I'd be the happiest girl alive.

I do some coaching in my spare time. I'm a great citizen what can I say? Yesterday as a reward for a job well done during the season the other coaches and I took them mini golfing. I consider myself a good mini golfer. I lead my team not to victory but to almost drinking ourselves to death a few weeks ago. I make my parents proud on a daily basis. The course we played was my home course in high school. I know where I need to put the ball every time to be successful. I was one over at the turn. And then I got a 7 on the back nine and my world fell apart. I was 3-putting. I was 4-putting. I was restraining from breaking my club over my knee. And as a result of my lack of focus I was beaten badly by a 14 year old. She beat me by 8 strokes. 8 STROKES. I am still pissed about it. She said she's hanging the score card in her locker. I said I was going to punch her in the face.

My right eye looks like someone ever so gently took it out of its socket, played kick ball with it, and then put it back in the socket covered in mud and grass and little children's tears. No, it's not pink eye it's what I like to call text eye. I like sleeping. You know that. It's one of my favorite things. I like sleeping in very dark rooms and because of this if I get into a text message frenzy at night it takes a toll on my eye. I go into pirate mode and scrunch up my left eye really tightly and only keep my right eye open. It's like that "just woke up after drinking a whole bottle of Jack Daniel's and can only open one eye slightly or I will vomit and probably not stop for quite some time" face. It's so special and it totally strains my right eye. Recently I've been getting into some late night texting frenzy's and my right eye is suffering. The obvious fix of course would be to use my left eye. Sadly, I'm not ambidextrous with my eyeballs and can only function with my right eye so I will be forced to look like I have one cracked out eyeball. Please don't judge me. Thank you.




I really like Joy Ike right now so you'll have to excuse the double artist posting. I really enjoy songs I can relate too and I can twist my own meaning into. Every time I hear this song I try and twist a new meaning into it but the result is always the same. She says it best with... "you are the other part of me."

SONG OF THE DAY: Joy Ike - City Lights (for vern)

THIS TIME LAST YEAR: I don't know what's wrong...




This week in survival tips...

How to Survive a Two-Wave Hold-Down
1. Bail your board.
2. Avoid surfacing in the white water after a wave crashes.
3. Do not struggle—you will become exhausted.
4. Dive as deep as you can.
5. Let the first wave pass over you.
6. Follow the board’s leash to the surface.
7. Wait out the waves by diving underneath them. Curl your body into a defensive ball as the waves pass overhead.
8. Paddle to calmer water.